I realize I have met so many people in my life who are religiously narrow-minded. And many of those people have called me the same. I just let it roll off of me. After all, it's stupid to argue about religion with someone who's not related to you, isn't it? I've been searching for so long, and I feel that I will continue searching into what religion really is. Maybe I think too much. Maybe I spend too many late nights looking at pictures of friends, and wondering what they would say if they were with me. So many late nights silently talking to a computer screen, pouring out all my deepest emotional views and philosophies. And I realize that what I write now may change later. But what I write now will always remain a conversational piece for my late night me-talks. And maybe someday I'll find the best philosophy for me. Or maybe I'll just float around and take whatever fits me for the here and now. Either way, my only wish is to put my mind at ease, and allow my soul to find the peace that it requires.
I have said to myself in many a conversation, religion + me = :( . And that statement holds true. There is just something about the aspect of religion that has never agreed with me. I've searched high and low, trying to pinpoint exactly what it is, and I've come up empty. I suppose some people's personalities just aren't meant for it's demands. I guess I haven't come up completely empty handed. I have found a few things about me that may contribute to why I hate it so much.
1) DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.
I hate it when people tell me what to do. I just want to figure it out on my own. Yes, I'm young. And yes, I make really dumb mistakes. But at least they're my dumb mistakes. I can own up to them, and, frankly, they build character.
2) WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT?
Nothing does. I am my own boss, and I only do what you say if I think it's something I want to do too.
3) IF YOU'RE GONNA CALL ME NARROW-MINDED, AT LEAST MAKE SURE YOU'RE NOT THE ONE WHO'S NARROW-MINDED FIRST.
As I said above, most people who call me narrow-minded, are also extremely narrow-minded themselves. I'm just trying to reduce hypocrisy in the world. Like that line from the Bible people are always quoting, something like, "Let he without sin be the first to cast the stone.", or something like that.
When you join a religion, you essentially give a group of crazy people the authority to tell you what to do without question, which conflicts with numbers one and two. And most of the insane people who follow the crazy people conflict with number three. So no matter what group of crazy people I join, I'm never gonna get my three reasons the way I want them. People will be people, and people are insane.
Lately, I've been taking some time to myself to discover what I want my life philosophy to be. Anyways, I got a bit insane myself, and almost considered rejoining a religion I left. And then I had to reconsider myself, and my life full of options and possibilities, many that would not be available to me if I joined a 'group of crazy people'. (See how I put that in quotes? I don't mean to actually call them crazy, it's just my funny way of saying religion as of now.) I don't want to be listening to a playlist full of great music, and then just stop on one song, and keep it on loop forever. I know that there's more fantastic music to come, and yes, it's on shuffle, so I don't know what's going to play next, but I need to put my courage to the sticking place and find that desire within me to enjoy it while it lasts, but know that I need to move on. It's what's good for me. And yes, I did just come up with that metaphor on the spot, while listening to one of the best playlists of soundtrack music ever. I just can't leave 'Suite from The Polar Express' on loop forever now, can I?
MY LIFE PHILOSOPHY AS OF NOW:
Does God exist? I don't know. Was there a life before this and will there be one after? I don't know. Does my life have some sort of higher purpose? I don't know. And I'm at peace with the phrase 'I don't know.' Because, really, deep down, nobody knows. People create religions to try and feel safe and secure in their skin. But really, nobody knows. Every single human on the face of this planet was born as a human. No one was given any sort of special knowledge or advantages beforehand. We're all equals, and we were all born as equals in not knowing. There is one thing I do know, though. Be a good person. Just be a good person! Don't do stuff to hurt other humans, physically or emotionally. Do great things for people. Help them succeed. Don't try and keep it all to yourself. Try every day to make the human race a bit better. We're all equals, so it's about time we admitted it, ate our humble pie, and started showing what we can do to make all our lives a bit better. Religion and personal beliefs can oftentimes keep people from eating their humble pie. Religion tries to answer all of life's questions, and tell its members that they're the only ones with the answers; that they're the ones with the special knowledge and advantages. But every religion says that. So they can't all be right. To me, none are. I strive in my life to show people how to admit, how to eat their humble pie. To show people who may be very religious what it means to just be a good person. To show people what my life really is all about. To bring about the betterment of the human race, person at a time. We all want to make some sort of impact during our years on this planet, and I've found my way, I just sincerely hope that everyone can look inside of themselves and find theirs.
~M.B.~
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