So...I decided to make a cool 404 page. Use the link below to go bask in its awesomeness. xD
http://theslytherinprefectblog.blogspot.com/2013/07/404.html
~M.B.~
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Dear, Hubcap
Dear Hubcap,
I know that you didn't want to stay on in California, so my grandma stuck you in the trunk. Here in Utah, my dad put you back on your wheel. Well, the next time I took you driving, you decided to fall off on some random road in Orem. And I left you there. I will not pamper you like my grandma did. It was your choice to fall off my car, so you will live on that random road. And probably get run over by a new driver like me. Or a semi driver that shows no mercy. I don't know where you are now, you could be in a dumpster all alone, or in some crazy old butler's 'Hubcaps of the World' collection. But you will always have a special place in my heart. I'll never let another hubcap fill your space.
Love,
Me
~M.B.~
I know that you didn't want to stay on in California, so my grandma stuck you in the trunk. Here in Utah, my dad put you back on your wheel. Well, the next time I took you driving, you decided to fall off on some random road in Orem. And I left you there. I will not pamper you like my grandma did. It was your choice to fall off my car, so you will live on that random road. And probably get run over by a new driver like me. Or a semi driver that shows no mercy. I don't know where you are now, you could be in a dumpster all alone, or in some crazy old butler's 'Hubcaps of the World' collection. But you will always have a special place in my heart. I'll never let another hubcap fill your space.
Love,
Me
~M.B.~
The constant pains of my life
I've gotten over my depression and sadness mostly lately. Now I am suffering through the physical pains brought on by the major trauma my body went through. I get intestinal pains 24/7. The pain isn't super bad, but it sure does wear down on you after a week and a half. I went to the doctor, and really the only thing I can do is get on a regular eating, sleeping and exercise schedule and wait it out. I have watched soooo much Netflix lately, it's started to become boring. I guess you could say that I'm bored of summer...already. I haven't seen much of my friends because...let's see...one of them lifeguards at the pool, one of them is in Colorado, one of them is doing I-don't-know-what at I-don't-know-where, a bunch of them are interning at the Discovery Space Center like all the time....Which reminds me...My soul has been reclaimed by the Discovery Space Center. I decided to go back and intern there for a few reasons:
1) I can't technically "volunteer" because my grades aren't good enough and will probably never be
2) My mom says I need to do something else with my summer besides watch The Office and Disney shows all day
3) I do kinda miss shooting children and doing the randomest of things inside a room modeled to look like a space ship
So...yeah...that's why I'm back there. Also, I'm really confused about what's going on at the original Space Center at Central Elementary. They opened for the summer for camps, they just can't have the kids spend the night. I've tried emailing the new director, but I haven't heard back from her in like a month...so...who knows? The previous director, Mr. Williamson, has moved on to another project at Renaissance Academy in Lehi, but he's still put himself in charge of all of the volunteer programs at Discovery and Central. I personally think that he needs to let go because it should be the responsibility of each space center to separately maintain their own volunteer programs and adjust them to their needs, but my opinion probably won't change anything.
On another note, something I've been fond of lately is going on scooter rides. And yes, I mean a push scooter. I do feel kind of like a young elementary school kid again whenever I ride it places. It's quite useful for getting exercise when I have a place I need to go that's either in my city, or in neighboring ones. My grandparents are moving soon though, so they have 2 old bikes in their basement and I will claim one of them for myself so I can go longer distances. I'm planning on maybe going up to the BYU Museum of Art with it, and maybe just wandering around all the cool buildings on campus. I will finally be able to go and appreciate art in a museum without my little brother around to disturb the peace.
Well, I think I might go on a scooter ride soon. I just have to decide, should I go to the cemetery, or to the temple?
~M.B.~
1) I can't technically "volunteer" because my grades aren't good enough and will probably never be
2) My mom says I need to do something else with my summer besides watch The Office and Disney shows all day
3) I do kinda miss shooting children and doing the randomest of things inside a room modeled to look like a space ship
So...yeah...that's why I'm back there. Also, I'm really confused about what's going on at the original Space Center at Central Elementary. They opened for the summer for camps, they just can't have the kids spend the night. I've tried emailing the new director, but I haven't heard back from her in like a month...so...who knows? The previous director, Mr. Williamson, has moved on to another project at Renaissance Academy in Lehi, but he's still put himself in charge of all of the volunteer programs at Discovery and Central. I personally think that he needs to let go because it should be the responsibility of each space center to separately maintain their own volunteer programs and adjust them to their needs, but my opinion probably won't change anything.
On another note, something I've been fond of lately is going on scooter rides. And yes, I mean a push scooter. I do feel kind of like a young elementary school kid again whenever I ride it places. It's quite useful for getting exercise when I have a place I need to go that's either in my city, or in neighboring ones. My grandparents are moving soon though, so they have 2 old bikes in their basement and I will claim one of them for myself so I can go longer distances. I'm planning on maybe going up to the BYU Museum of Art with it, and maybe just wandering around all the cool buildings on campus. I will finally be able to go and appreciate art in a museum without my little brother around to disturb the peace.
Well, I think I might go on a scooter ride soon. I just have to decide, should I go to the cemetery, or to the temple?
~M.B.~
Thursday, June 13, 2013
I'm gonna kinda rant a bit right now
Well, about 3 and a half weeks ago, my dear and best friend Logan committed suicide.. I'm not going to go into much detail about it here, cuz I only trust certain people with all the personal feelings and emotions that have been going on in my head lately. I am going to rant about something though: people that try to understand or comfort people in situations they know absolutely nothing about.
Now these people usually tend to act on a know-it-all way, which really makes me want to just slap them in the face. I haven't been to Young Women's in my ward since this all happened because all of the leaders and the girls act in just this way. There are kind of two halves to this that I've been seeing. 1) They all think that because my best friend committed suicide I'm at super high risk of it
2) They think that I can just suddenly be happy again
Now with 1) it really bugs me a lot. They keep trying to tell me I'm a child of God and I should never forget my worth. Well, great, but I already know that. I've kinda been LDS my whole life, and I've had what you just said ground into my head for the past 16 years. And I must point out that the 3 suicides that have occurred in PG over the past school year have had no relation to each other, in other words, none of them knew each other personally. I really hate when people get themselves all psyched out that I'm going to kill myself or something and so they try to preach to me 24/7 and drown me in quotes about life, and keep sharp/dangerous objects away from me. Like seriously people, could you get any less logical? I'm not going to sporadically stab myself while I'm cutting a watermelon or anything.
Now, 2). The cliche thing for LDS people to say after someone is affected by a death seems to be, "Don't worry, you'll see them again. Just be happy." Now I realize that that is just about the worst thing to say to someone that is dealing with this. My best friend, one of the joys of my life who made laugh in hard times is now gone, and you expect me to just suddenly be happy. Yeah, it doesn't work like that. I've discovered it will take a while for me to be happy after this. Yeah, there are times when I want to not be so sad all the time and not cry so much, but I can't just suddenly be happy. At times it feels impossible to be happy. And a lot of things that used to make me happy don't make me happy anymore. I guess some people haven't had traumatic events that have happened in their life that has put their happiness in question. And not just little things like not getting a perfect grade in a class, big things that send you into depression.
Now I really don't know if anyone reading this cares about my annoyances and musings, but I hope that you will remember to show more courtesy to people dealing with a death close to them, especially suicides. You never know what's going inside their head, and if they want to talk to you about it, then humbly give them suggestions and comfort, but if they don't talk to you about it, then don't probe them further. It will only make them hate you. Which has unfortunately occurred in my case, and I really don't like my Young Women leaders or the girls. I kind of want them to just cease to exist in my world.
Well, I think that's all I have to rant about right now.
~M.B.~
Now these people usually tend to act on a know-it-all way, which really makes me want to just slap them in the face. I haven't been to Young Women's in my ward since this all happened because all of the leaders and the girls act in just this way. There are kind of two halves to this that I've been seeing. 1) They all think that because my best friend committed suicide I'm at super high risk of it
2) They think that I can just suddenly be happy again
Now with 1) it really bugs me a lot. They keep trying to tell me I'm a child of God and I should never forget my worth. Well, great, but I already know that. I've kinda been LDS my whole life, and I've had what you just said ground into my head for the past 16 years. And I must point out that the 3 suicides that have occurred in PG over the past school year have had no relation to each other, in other words, none of them knew each other personally. I really hate when people get themselves all psyched out that I'm going to kill myself or something and so they try to preach to me 24/7 and drown me in quotes about life, and keep sharp/dangerous objects away from me. Like seriously people, could you get any less logical? I'm not going to sporadically stab myself while I'm cutting a watermelon or anything.
Now, 2). The cliche thing for LDS people to say after someone is affected by a death seems to be, "Don't worry, you'll see them again. Just be happy." Now I realize that that is just about the worst thing to say to someone that is dealing with this. My best friend, one of the joys of my life who made laugh in hard times is now gone, and you expect me to just suddenly be happy. Yeah, it doesn't work like that. I've discovered it will take a while for me to be happy after this. Yeah, there are times when I want to not be so sad all the time and not cry so much, but I can't just suddenly be happy. At times it feels impossible to be happy. And a lot of things that used to make me happy don't make me happy anymore. I guess some people haven't had traumatic events that have happened in their life that has put their happiness in question. And not just little things like not getting a perfect grade in a class, big things that send you into depression.
Now I really don't know if anyone reading this cares about my annoyances and musings, but I hope that you will remember to show more courtesy to people dealing with a death close to them, especially suicides. You never know what's going inside their head, and if they want to talk to you about it, then humbly give them suggestions and comfort, but if they don't talk to you about it, then don't probe them further. It will only make them hate you. Which has unfortunately occurred in my case, and I really don't like my Young Women leaders or the girls. I kind of want them to just cease to exist in my world.
Well, I think that's all I have to rant about right now.
~M.B.~
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Today appears to be Christmas...
Well...today appears to be Christmas already...that's special....It seems to have come really quickly and suddenly....probably because I was more concerned about the Ward Choir Christmas program, and then immediately after had to draw the Newport Beach Temple for a friend for Christmas, which gave me like a 24 hour deadline. I'm proud of myself for drawing it though, cuz it looks pretty dang amazing.
I also have recently created an art blog of....well...my artwork....
theworldwithoutartisjustmeh.blogspot.com
That's the link up there ^ ....as if you couldn't have already figured that out yourself...
So....you're probably curious about what I got for Christmas, so here's the list:
- 2 Star Wars shirts
- A super nice guitar
- Lego Lord of the Rings Videogame
- Lots of music and iTunes cards to buy more music with
Yeah...that's it....my need for more stuff has decreased dramatically this year...I'm kinda happy with what I've got right now.
~M.B.~
I also have recently created an art blog of....well...my artwork....
theworldwithoutartisjustmeh.blogspot.com
That's the link up there ^ ....as if you couldn't have already figured that out yourself...
So....you're probably curious about what I got for Christmas, so here's the list:
- 2 Star Wars shirts
- A super nice guitar
- Lego Lord of the Rings Videogame
- Lots of music and iTunes cards to buy more music with
Yeah...that's it....my need for more stuff has decreased dramatically this year...I'm kinda happy with what I've got right now.
~M.B.~
Thursday, December 6, 2012
About time I acknowledged this blog's existence again...
Well, I really ought to pay more attention to this blog. And keep my goal to write in it often. And change the font so it's easier to read. =P
So.... stuff going on...
Tech
Peter Pan has come and gone. I was like 2 weeks ago. I learned a lot. I was the sound person backstage and helped out with mic changes and replacing batteries and stuff like that. I got to know some seniors in drama much better, which was cool, cause they're cool people.
Space Center
The Odyssey got ripped apart by construction people today. It's so sad to face the fact that a part of my soul has been torn from me, and I'll never be able to get it back, ever. When the Space Center first closed, I thought I would never be able to go back to it again, but with all of this Save the Space Center stuff, I've started realizing, even expecting, that I will work those simulators again. But now, something's gone and will never return. R.I.P. Odyssey.
Life
I've been having some difficulties lately trying to figure out exactly who I am and what I want to do. I'm a pretty good faker. There's one thing I learned from orchestra. Faking. I fake happiness so often, that I don't tend to feel real happiness very often.
On another topic, friends. I've been trying to figure out who I want to spend my lunchtimes at school with, who I want to hang out with out of school, whose house I want to jog to on weekends, etc. My current friends are soooo different from me. I never realized that until my friend Logan told me one day, "How did you ever end up being friends with Shelby Woodhouse?" And that got me wondering....how did I end up friends with her? Well, we met because we were both in PGJR's play in 9th grade; specifically, my friend Makenna from orchestra introduced me to them. But I was a techie, and she was one of the starring roles. Not to say that techies can't be friends with actors, but to say that we were already so different when we met. I've always been a bit different. A geeky, nerdy, Star Trek and Star Wars and Harry Potter everything person. My circle of friends right now share pretty much nothing in common with me. So why am I still with them even though I realized this months ago? They're such nice people that I don't want to just tell them that I don't want to spend a whole lot of time with them anymore. They're really accepting of me, no matter who I am, but I just feel like I can't be me around them. I can't discuss Star Trek or Star Wars with them, and I can't have super-crazy in-depth conversations about them with Harry Potter stuff like other people I know. So, I've been gradually slipping away from them like a sly fox these past few days. I've found that one of my true passions in life is drawing, and so, I sit on the steps in the Student Center, in an emptier area, with my sketchbook and draw. Even though they are also sitting on the same steps in the Student Center that I am, just farther away and surrounded by people, only one of them has noticed me. And that was only because I happened to hear a loud bang from someone popping a chip bag and looked around me and we made eye contact. That's something I don't like about my current friends. I have sit there next to them for an hour at lunch, right next to them, and they never say more than a few sentences to me. In an hour! And all they talk about are school dances. I thought it would end with the Sadie Hawkins dance, but then, bang!, two days after the dance and they're already concerned about who they should ask to Preference. I've tried countless times to change the conversation, but within a few minutes, it comes back around to school dances, or who's going with who, or who's dating who, or weird girl stories about disaster dates, and other things I don't find appealing or funny. I try to tell them that they talk about these things too much, but they just deny it. They should really hear themselves talk sometimes. But they would just deny that too. Just yesterday though, when I was sitting on the more isolated steps of the Student Center, a nice drama person I met during Peter Pan sat down and talked to me for a bit. She has no idea how much that meant to me. I wish I could remember her name. I think maybe I should drift towards this group of seniors that are super involved in drama. This may be an omen. I really feel lots of pain in leaving my current friends, but they just don't understand me, and we honestly have absolutely nothing in common.
Sorry that was a really long post, but my feelings are complex right now.
~M.B.~
So.... stuff going on...
Tech
Peter Pan has come and gone. I was like 2 weeks ago. I learned a lot. I was the sound person backstage and helped out with mic changes and replacing batteries and stuff like that. I got to know some seniors in drama much better, which was cool, cause they're cool people.
Space Center
The Odyssey got ripped apart by construction people today. It's so sad to face the fact that a part of my soul has been torn from me, and I'll never be able to get it back, ever. When the Space Center first closed, I thought I would never be able to go back to it again, but with all of this Save the Space Center stuff, I've started realizing, even expecting, that I will work those simulators again. But now, something's gone and will never return. R.I.P. Odyssey.
Life
I've been having some difficulties lately trying to figure out exactly who I am and what I want to do. I'm a pretty good faker. There's one thing I learned from orchestra. Faking. I fake happiness so often, that I don't tend to feel real happiness very often.
On another topic, friends. I've been trying to figure out who I want to spend my lunchtimes at school with, who I want to hang out with out of school, whose house I want to jog to on weekends, etc. My current friends are soooo different from me. I never realized that until my friend Logan told me one day, "How did you ever end up being friends with Shelby Woodhouse?" And that got me wondering....how did I end up friends with her? Well, we met because we were both in PGJR's play in 9th grade; specifically, my friend Makenna from orchestra introduced me to them. But I was a techie, and she was one of the starring roles. Not to say that techies can't be friends with actors, but to say that we were already so different when we met. I've always been a bit different. A geeky, nerdy, Star Trek and Star Wars and Harry Potter everything person. My circle of friends right now share pretty much nothing in common with me. So why am I still with them even though I realized this months ago? They're such nice people that I don't want to just tell them that I don't want to spend a whole lot of time with them anymore. They're really accepting of me, no matter who I am, but I just feel like I can't be me around them. I can't discuss Star Trek or Star Wars with them, and I can't have super-crazy in-depth conversations about them with Harry Potter stuff like other people I know. So, I've been gradually slipping away from them like a sly fox these past few days. I've found that one of my true passions in life is drawing, and so, I sit on the steps in the Student Center, in an emptier area, with my sketchbook and draw. Even though they are also sitting on the same steps in the Student Center that I am, just farther away and surrounded by people, only one of them has noticed me. And that was only because I happened to hear a loud bang from someone popping a chip bag and looked around me and we made eye contact. That's something I don't like about my current friends. I have sit there next to them for an hour at lunch, right next to them, and they never say more than a few sentences to me. In an hour! And all they talk about are school dances. I thought it would end with the Sadie Hawkins dance, but then, bang!, two days after the dance and they're already concerned about who they should ask to Preference. I've tried countless times to change the conversation, but within a few minutes, it comes back around to school dances, or who's going with who, or who's dating who, or weird girl stories about disaster dates, and other things I don't find appealing or funny. I try to tell them that they talk about these things too much, but they just deny it. They should really hear themselves talk sometimes. But they would just deny that too. Just yesterday though, when I was sitting on the more isolated steps of the Student Center, a nice drama person I met during Peter Pan sat down and talked to me for a bit. She has no idea how much that meant to me. I wish I could remember her name. I think maybe I should drift towards this group of seniors that are super involved in drama. This may be an omen. I really feel lots of pain in leaving my current friends, but they just don't understand me, and we honestly have absolutely nothing in common.
Sorry that was a really long post, but my feelings are complex right now.
~M.B.~
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Today
Today me and my friends hit a car....
Don't worry though....it was with a soccer ball....yeah, you totally freaked out there for a moment, right?
I decided that today I would take a walk around our high school...outside. It was a nice walk. I paused near the seminary building to eavesdrop on some of the seminary teachers that were doing something outside with a ball. I didn't really get what they were talking about. But...I eventually found some of my friends playing with a soccer ball outside the front of the school. You had to hit the ball 4 times without it touching the ground and without using your hands. After the ball had been hit four times, someone could catch the ball, and if they did, they got to throw it at someone. Well...we were playing the game in a circle, and someone that was facing the drop-off area in front of the school drop-kicked the ball really hard, and a van just happened to be driving by at the time. The ball went up from the kicker, towards the car, and neatly bounced off its roof onto the grass on the other side of it. There was a very audible thunk when the ball hit the car, and sent all of us into hysterics. Ahhh...it was great.
But really...there wasn't anything else of note that happened today, or in the past few days.
~M.B.~
Don't worry though....it was with a soccer ball....yeah, you totally freaked out there for a moment, right?
I decided that today I would take a walk around our high school...outside. It was a nice walk. I paused near the seminary building to eavesdrop on some of the seminary teachers that were doing something outside with a ball. I didn't really get what they were talking about. But...I eventually found some of my friends playing with a soccer ball outside the front of the school. You had to hit the ball 4 times without it touching the ground and without using your hands. After the ball had been hit four times, someone could catch the ball, and if they did, they got to throw it at someone. Well...we were playing the game in a circle, and someone that was facing the drop-off area in front of the school drop-kicked the ball really hard, and a van just happened to be driving by at the time. The ball went up from the kicker, towards the car, and neatly bounced off its roof onto the grass on the other side of it. There was a very audible thunk when the ball hit the car, and sent all of us into hysterics. Ahhh...it was great.
But really...there wasn't anything else of note that happened today, or in the past few days.
~M.B.~
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